THEN RAISE THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KIDS!AND GIVE YOU ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’D EVER FUCKING NEED.
AND PAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT FUCKING MORTGAGE.
AND THEN WHEN THE GUTTERS ARE CLOGGED I’LL GET UP THAT FUCKING LADDER AND CLEAN THAT SHIT UP WHILE YOU STAND BY THE KITCHEN WINDOW COMICALLY JUDGING MY WORK.
AND THEN WE CAN VACUUM THE FUCK OUT OF OUR CARPET SO HARD THAT WE’LL HAVE TO GET A NEW ONE.
WE’LL WASH OUR CLOTHES SO GODDAMN FUCKING HARD. FORGET NO RINSE, WE’LL USE HIGH FUCKING SPEED.
BUY A FUCKING MINIVAN TO STUFF OUR BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BABIES INTO IT AND DRIVE THE FUCK OUT OF IT.
THEN WE CAN GO SOME FUCKING PARENT-TEACHER MEETINGS AND MEET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KID’S TEACHER. THEN JUDGE THE SHIT OF HER IN THE CAR.
AND WE CAN THEN PILE ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE FUCKING MINIVAN AND GO TO THE STORE AND SHOP FOR GROCERIES SO HARD THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE MORE THAN TWO TRIPS TO GET ALL THAT SHIT INSIDE THE HOUSE.
AND THEN COOK THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KITCHEN UNTIL WE HAVE NO FOOD LEFT AND WE FEAST ON THAT SHIT FOR FUCKING DAYS.
I WILL EAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOMEMADE COOKIES.
THEN WASH THE SHIT OUT ON THE DISHES TOGETHER UNTIL OUR ENTIRE HANDS GET FUCKING PRUNEY.
WE’LL WATCH OUR KIDS FUCKING GRADUATE AND MOTHER FUCKING TEAR UP LIKE THE BADASS BOSSES WE FUCKING ARE.
WE WILL GROW SO DAMN OLD TOGETHER, WE WILL LOOK LIKE FUCKING RAISINS.
I WILL FUCKING TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU.
HOLDING EACH OTHER’S FUCKING HANDS SO HARD THAT WE SHIT OUR SELVES.
UNTIL WE DIE AND ROT AS MOTHERFUCKING CORPSES TOGETHER.
TIL DEATH DO US FUCKIN PART.
HAPPILY EVER FUCKING AFTER.
This makes me laugh everytime..
Always reblog.
I love this so much ♥
I’m not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance.
– Jon Stewart (via transformfeminism)(Source: ghostisborn)
Via this is fact not fictionWe’re not going to lie about who we are. We cant. Not when it comes to our family.
– –Bette Porter (via lwordobsession)(Source: fabriulous)
Via Munch Boxlove-in-trust asked: with just what you given about yourself, you became my favorite person in the whole wide world xD
awww you’re sweet hehe :)
22. The Old Spice Guy. (Isaiah Mustafa)
Submitted by spartadog
LOOK AT YOUR PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE
NOW LOOK AT ME
NOW BACK AT YOUR CANDIDATE
NOW BACK TO ME
SADLY, YOUR CANDIDATE IS NOT ME
BUT IF HE HAD A BRAIN, HE MIGHT NOT BE A TREMENDOUS DOUCHEBAG
LOOK IN YOUR HAND
LOOK BACK UP
I HAVE IT
IT’S RIGHTS FOR EVERYONE, NOT JUST RICH WHITE CHRISTIAN MEN
LOOK AGAIN
THE RIGHTS ARE NOW LAWS
I’m not in the White House





